Revenge of the Mooer

Author's Note: The following piece of writing is based on true events. Resemblance of any of the characters involved to any living person/animal, may be a possibility. Some facts may have been exaggerated though.

“Yaaaaaaawn...”.. I stretched all four of my limbs..Fronts first then the backs...
Man I didn't sleep well last night. All my neighbors were partying and creating a ruckus last night.

Sadly I wasn't invited to the party. You see I am not from this territory.

Any how..

Looks like its going to be a wonderful day.. Just look at these wonderful two legged creatures jaywalking and heading towards nowhere. Now this is called going back to nature.

sniff.. sniff... thud... thud... thud...

“I smell food”.. I thought and wagged my tail aimlessly banging it against the USE ME bin right next to my bedroom.

“woof”.. I let out a bark in excitement. It wasn't the kind I use during mating season to hook up with all the ladies.. wink wink.. It was one of those “me-do-you-no-harm-infact-me-going-to-lick-you-if-youfeed-me” kind of woof. I do have a lot of 'woofs' in my media library. One for every occasion. I would say that its my USP.

“Woof” I said again.

I see one frail two legged creature coming towards me.

Swishh.. swishh.. swishh...

My behind started moving to and fro in a total frenzy. I don't know really why that happens. Maybe I have a thing you know. Like Elvis.

I got up, stuck my tongue out – I couldn't contain my drool in my mouth any more, so I thought it was best let out. I started jumping with joy. I jumped forward and then I jumped backwards. All the while hitting my behind against the USE ME. It might have been painful at times, but who knows. My only sensation active at that particular moment, were my nostrils.

The creature bent down and dropped something right in front of me.

“Woof”.. I thanked her.

“Oh boy oh boy!!! foooood!!! woof woof!! I love you!!” I ran in circles like a mad dog, wagging my tail and letting out all the extra drool and of course now banging my behind on the two legged creature.

Man was it upset.

Any how..

Just then I saw another four legged creature standing right in front of me.

It said “Mooooo”

Out of towner I guessed.

******************

I was staring into the horizon and just then I let out a “Mooooooooo” in frustration.

Something had been bothering me since I got up. There was a decision to be made and it was a matter of life and death.

“Where should I stay put today.. At the big light crossing.. or on this pavement where I am standing right now.. hmm..”

Then I remembered, I had had a bad accident just the day before. I was just simply sitting at one of
those crossings and doing absolutely nothing. I mean really. Just then there was a war of noise blasts and some two legged creatures jumping out of their four legged bodies and saying things to me I couldn't understand. I mean a cow can't even sit in peace now or what!?

Any how.

“Maybe I should stay put right here. Nice little place. Some small four legged creature near by.. no harm in sight I guess”

Now that one thing is solved, I have another matter to divert my attention to.

“Should I relieve myself on this clean pavement in front of this nice departmental store, or should I stick to my usual place, which is the crossing of course..”

Life is full of tough decisions.

****************

That Moooo was still looking into the horizon. I wonder what it was thinking.

Just then I saw the most horrifying thing that could ever happen to a dog!

That two legged creature took the food away from me, dropping me only a few nibbles, while the rest were given away to the Moooo!!!! They say every dog has its day, today was definitely not mine.

I didn't know what to do. So I whined.. again and again.. but no luck.. the two legged creature wouldn't even look at me! As if I were some street dog!

I was not going to let this happen to me, I thought. I need to get my food back... from this BIG FOUR legged creature. Man.. that did require guts.. All of it..

So I thought of a strategy.

****************

“Woof”

I heard. The small creature suddenly got up alarmed. “Woof” he said again with this chin up and nose pointing towards something behind me.

My instant reaction should have been to turn. But then I thought, why should I go through all this effort, I have other urgent matters at hand.

I looked down. “Hey what's this! Something edible served in something inedible.. hmm.. should I bend down to eat, or should I just wait for somebody to pick it up and put it in my mouth..”

The little guy said “woof” again. Now he started to jump forward and backward as if asking me to turn my neck and head to see what's behind.

Eventually my curiosity got the better of me. I turned.

*********

“oh boy oh boy!!” it turned!! I almost let out a woof.. But I stopped it before every effort went down the drain.

I crouched and tipsy toed towards the four legged creature. I looked up with my head bent and my behind moving vigorously than ever before. I dug my teeth into the food material placed in front of the four legged creature, and cautiously pulled it from underneath.

“Oh boy oh boy” I thought. It didn't even come to know!

I went near the USE ME and ripped open the pack of food, disbursing all of it on the floor, so that I could prioritize on what I wanted to eat first.

Splut.. splat.. splat.. splat..

What's that.. I thought..

I tried to concentrate on the food placed in front of me. Glorious food!

Splut.. splat.. splut.. splat..

hmm.. This doesn't smell as good as it tastes. Grrrr.. I looked around, but nothing.

What could it be??!!

******

Ok so I have decided. It's the pavement for now. See right there? Near the USE ME.

“Hey my food has disappeared... hmm.. maybe I should wait for it to reappear...”